Solo traveling Europe and making friends with strangers
Written by an extrovert that also appreciates quiet alone time
I hope I’m not starting to sound like a broken record at this point … but I spent the last two summers in Europe — if you haven’t yet heard. It was about 1.5 months each but I’ve already written two posts about it, one on slow traveling Paris and the other on cycling South of France. I don’t want to exaggerate by saying it was life changing but it’s definitely motivating me to churn out Substack posts one after another.
For me, solo traveling is not solely defined by navigating multiple cities alone but simply by going somewhere foreign by yourself. You might have friends visit you and you might go visit friends or make new ones on the way. But at the end of the day, you’re by yourself, on your journey, to discover places you’ve never seen before.
My first summer in Europe, I stayed in Paris for almost a month, I met up with friends to experience Bastille Day fireworks by the Seine River and watch the Tour de France final stage up Champs-Élysées. Then circled up to Brussels and Amsterdam to visit some old school friends before embarking on my first solo trip across Northern Italy where I stayed in hostels and made new friends each day.
The second summer, I cycled around Nice for a week with my friend, then train traveled across South of France alone, staying mostly at Airbnbs, exploring the southern cities on foot and allowing quiet times to myself. I then stayed in the heart of Paris for another full month and squeezed in a weekend trip to London to visit some friends in between. I had many good friends visit me in Paris and also made new friends from French class in the neighborhood.
As much as I love adventuring with friends, there’s nothing like the freedom and flexibility of traveling solo. Enjoying a meal alone at a local restaurant, venturing through vintage shops and cathedrals alike, exchanging life stories with hostel roommates and sitting by the lake, the beach even the park for as long as you like.
Solo traveling doesn’t mean you need to be alone all the time, in fact it’s quite the opposite. But first, you have to be ok with the idea of being by yourself, then the rest will follow.
For my friends who are still on the fence of solo traveling — here’s my manifesto.
The initial reason I started making travel plans by myself was because I had a hard time finding friends that could travel at the exact times and for the exact length I had in mind. It wasn’t to conquer some innate fear or discover one true self — it was simply out of practicality. But I realize there were a lot of fears I had to conquer to truly enjoy traveling by myself.
The fear of eating alone
This was initially my biggest fear. I would buy sandwiches to eat in the park or buy grocery and cook at the Airbnb. But then I was missing out on the best meals the city had to offer.
So I started small by sitting down at cafes for breakfast instead of rushing away with a to-go cup which is practically frowned upon in Italy and France. And I often noticed I wasn’t the only one enjoying a morning coffee or croissant alone. I like to bring a book or read on my phone or just people watch. My trick was to pick an outdoor seat so the constant pedestrian traffic would make me feel less self-conscious.
Then I started looking for the best viewing spots of the city to order a glass of wine with finger food and enjoy the view by myself. These spots are often crowded with other tourists so there’s never a lack of entertainment — street performers, children playing and couples arguing.
Soon I advanced to sit-down restaurants with white apron waiters. I would still opt for outdoor seats where available but have also arrived at restaurants as the first guest and received full attention of the owner with pleasant conversation.
I still enjoy eating gelato by the water and even the occasional half water melon but no longer out of social anxiety but pure preference.
The fear of doing things alone
Eating takes up 3 meals a day so once that fear is conquered, you’re ready for more adventures. When I solo travel I do spend a lot of time just walking around the city as everyone is minding their own business and surely no one would notice I’m all by myself. But there are lots of other things I want to do that would make it obvious I’m alone.
// Shopping alone // Let’s start small again. I actually prefer to shop alone even back home but shopping by yourself in French or Italian is a new challenge. It’s not the high-end luxury shopping I’m doing here, just some mid-price range French brands like Jonak or Sezane or vintage shops.
My first real shopping spree was in Bordeaux when I went down for a weekend wine tasting trip, the French store staff kept apologizing for her English while I apologized for my French but was able to give me great style tips none the less. I left happily with two pairs of new flats in my suitcase and the confidence to walk into the next shop.
// Watching a show alone // I have been dreaming of watching Les Miserables live for years, I know every song almost by heart and have seen the movie too many times. So there was no way I would pass an opportunity to see the musical in London — even if alone.
I bought an afternoon ticket, dressed in the best clothes my travel wardrobe allowed and arrived early to check out the merchandise. When I found my seat, I was squeezed between a couple and a family so there was no doubt I was by myself. But this was the most focused I’ve been in the theaters, I did not miss a beat or a line. I cried to “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” and laughed out loud to the bizarre inn owner skits.
When the show ended I could only wish it lasted a few minutes longer. I instantly called my mom to tell her all about it. Who said you needed someone to watch a show with to share about it after?
// Wine tasting alone // I had my first wine tasting in Bordeaux and decided to try again in Paris at Wine Tasting In Paris. I was once again the only person coming alone and in fact arrived early with everyone else 20 minutes late. So I had extra time to chat with the owner before becoming flushing red with wine and stuffing my face with local French cheese and perfectly soft baguettes.
// Kayaking alone // This is I’d say the highest level of the doing-things-alone-challenge I got to. I’ve never kayaked by myself let alone in a foreign city. When I arrived in Cannes it felt like Los Angeles, filled with shopping streets and beaches and after an evening of walking around I had run out of things to do.
I went back to the Airbnb and decided to look up things to do and somehow stumbled upon kayak rentals. So I braved myself and called the shop, “Bonsoir … parlez-vous Anglais?” lucky for me the owner spoke great English and I was relieved from explaining I’d like to rent a kayak the next day in French. Just imagine the complication of past and future tenses.
The next day I found out the store location on Google maps was simply a parking lot and I had to call the owner again hoping it wasn’t a scam — turns out the “store” was just him and he’s assistant, in the parking lot, with he’s pickup truck and 5 kayaks in the back. Once the confusion was sorted out, I joined the two other French speaking couples for orientation. The owner explained the best routes and safety in English for my sake which I thanked the entire group for bearing with.
It was only 40 euros for the entire day of rental and the owner, having been in business for 20 years, said he didn’t care what time we returned. So I excitedly embarked on my adventure, taking off from the tip of Pointe Croisette (marked with green flag) and crossed the channel to explore the two islands of Îles de Lérins.
This may have become the highlight of my entire trip. Once across the water, I found a small cove to park the kayak and put on goggles to snorkel. The channel between the two islands was covered by idling yachts, mostly small and appeared family owned, while the yacht owners and their children paddle boarded or snorkeled in the surrounding water.
After quality water and sunbathing time, I ventured on to the second island of Île Saint-Honorat. I found a monastery where monks have been living since the 5th century while harvesting red wine — there was nothing more French than this. Of course I had to pickup some liquor and support the local monks.
Making new friends
As much as I enjoy traveling alone — and sometimes as a little test to see if I can truly be happy by myself — I still love the company of friends old and new. Lucky for me, many of my friends love to travel too and many more are already living abroad so it wasn’t hard to find company throughout my trips.
However, if like me, you also enjoy meeting new people while traveling, here are some tips from my last two summers in Europe.
// On the road // The most obvious way to make friends, that most young travelers lean on, is meeting people at hostels. I have found that people staying at hostels are usually open to conversation and it often starts with a harmless, “Hi where are you from?” and can lead to “What do you want to see in the city?” and some drinks over pizza. These may be the only 24 hours you spend with them in your life times so cherish the opportunity to have some fun together. The worst case? You say good bye the next day with happy tears.
Another great way to meet people is from local tours. I signed up for the a Saint Emilion wine tour at the Bordeaux information center and hopped on the bus the next day. Turned out I wasn’t the only one by myself, another girl in her late 20s sat next to me on the bus and we started talking. We then walked around the medieval city together and enjoyed more wine over dinner back in Bordeaux before parting ways.
// In the city // Before I left for my first summer in Paris, I saw a post about Asian Wander Women and decided to join their Facebook group. I kept an eye out for people also visiting Paris and lucky for me I found many. It was a great way to meet people of similar cultural backgrounds even while traveling.
The first girl I met up with later brought other friends she had met through another Facebook group. We went for dinner and drinks, until I missed my last train back to the suburbs. So I texted my new made friend-of-friend and shamelessly asked if I could crash at their Airbnb in the city. She agreed without hesitation and like an old friend welcomed me into their temporary home. We talked late into the night about living abroad, cycling, boys and everything in between.
My second summer in Paris I was feeling a little less social and didn’t venture out of my way to meet new people. However, I went to French class every morning and became friends with my only other classmate from Australia. We gave each other cafe and food recommendations and went to hot yoga together — yes in French — to practice how to say arms and legs, left and right and breathe-in, breath-out.
It’s really not hard to travel solo, once you’ve had your first taste, you’ll be coming back for more. I hope my stories will inspire you to see that city you’ve always wanted to see but simply cannot find someone to go with.
Once you start traveling solo, you might even enjoy the world differently. You are no longer confined by other people’s schedule, you don’t need to limit your dating criteria to fellow travel-enthusiasts and you will find yourself having just as much fun back home — even if alone, you are never lonely.
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